I’ll Stand By You: Finding a Win in Grief

Sometimes a win is found not in understanding, but in unconditional love. This is the story of how my mom’s quiet support became my Everyday Win

When I was in my late teens and early twenties, I was trying to figure out who I was and what I wanted. The truth is, I was indecisive. I changed my mind often—taking a job across town, starting college, stopping, changing my major, starting again. A new diet fad, a reason to pursue a relationship that clearly wasn’t going well. Bouncing back and forth between wanting to move out, buy a new car, change my workout routine—you get the picture. I went back to school, then took a break, then worked full-time. I had no real direction and was constantly shifting my plans.

During that season of uncertainty, I remember preparing for the conversations I knew I’d have with my mom. Each time, I needed her input—or at the very least, I needed her to know what I was doing. I would rehearse how to explain myself, thinking that if I could share my heart clearly enough, she would understand and “buy into” my latest ideas or plans.

I remember one particular stretch when I quit my job, gave her a long list of reasons why, and within six months circled back to that same job with yet another list of reasons. Each time, I felt nervous walking into the conversation. And each time, I walked away feeling completely supported.

For a while, I thought it was because I was persuasive. I even joked with myself that I’d make a great lawyer. But after one especially restless season, something in me shifted. Somehow, some way, I began seeing things differently. I realized something important: she didn’t always understand my choices—but she supported me anyway.

That realization changed our relationship. I began looking back on my childhood and seeing so many moments through a new lens—moments where her steady presence and quiet support carried me. I knew in my heart that my mom would stand by me no matter what. That knowledge became a source of comfort and strength, something I carried with me into every season of life.

As I’ve listened to stories from people she loved and heard the countless ways she touched lives, I’ve realized this wasn’t just my experience. My mom stood by so many people—family, friends, even acquaintances. She loved widely and deeply, in a way that was different from anyone I’ve ever known.

Four words keep coming back to me: “I’ll stand by you.”
Those words describe her perfectly. They represent the way she loved, the way she showed up, and the way she supported others—through the good, the bad, and even the things she didn’t fully understand.

And that’s where my Everyday Win comes in. In my grief, I can still see the win: the steady, unconditional support of a mom who stood by me no matter what. Her presence shaped who I am, and her legacy reminds me that love doesn’t always mean understanding—it means showing up anyway.

That kind of love is rare. That kind of love is a win I’ll hold onto forever.